Sweat Betul

Today someone from my college passed away in her room. I hope it’s not suicide.

–

On a completely unrelated note, I dedicate this post to someone dear to me.

To the girl who is never too embarrassed to show the world how ugly she can be

To the girl who has one of the biggest mouths I’ve ever seen

To the girl who broke my clubbing virginity with me

To the girl equally, if not more, sohai than me

To the girl whose name is Pang Tze Ching (fondly known as Prudence wtf) who is my best friend, my fellow club member, my sister, my comrade and so much more

Happy 21st. You are one of the strongest girls I know and I’m really proud to be your friend.

I’m proud to tell people that I have a friend who can do the ugliest of all ugly faces, who has the biggest mouth anyone has every seen, who is extremely amusing when drunk, who is so sohai that you feel like kicking her and hugging her at the same time, who has the prettiest clothes and who loves me so much despite her constant jabs of how I’m fat or stupid.

You’ll get over whatever you’re feeling now and we will be holding your hands through it all.

Dear diary,

Today isn’t such a bad day, no it isn’t bad at all. Yesterday was perfectly alright, and the day before yesterday seemed fine too. I don’t know what’s wrong and maybe nothing is wrong at all. Then, why do I keep feeling like something is? Why does that feeling of something is seriously wrong keep tugging at me, keep pulling me away from everything, keep asking me to listen to it? I am now, so tell me what’s wrong?

The whole world is listening now, so tell them what’s wrong.

But it couldn’t. It kept its mouth shut, its hands tied, its words all jumbled in a labyrinth. It is telling me to tell everyone that some things are not just as apparent as they seem. It wants me to tell you that maybe not every problem has a solution and it wants me to tell the whole wide world to just please leave it alone.

But no, I don’t want to leave it alone, diary. It’s killing me inside inch by inch just thinking about it. I know there is a perfect term for it but I just couldn’t seem to pinpoint what exactly. Could it be depression? But why? I am almost perfect if not for my lack of height and size of mammary. I am the luckiest girl I know and I think I have everything I could have ever dreamed of. So why depression?

Maybe it’s not even depression I’m looking for. Maybe it’s something more complicated that scientists and wise men have yet to discover. Maybe it’s nothing at all.

The snow is falling again. The urge is calling again. I want to release myself from this web of intricacies so so bad, diary. One leap is all it takes to be freed from this wheel of life. One small step and the tiniest energy one could muster.

And that’s all it takes to be free again.

But no, wait, what about the hundreds of people who know me? What will they think of an act so selfish and thoughtless? Will they still think of me as the girl they once knew, or will they cringe in shame for this girl lying flat on the pavement? All tangled in her own limbs, not breathing, blood seeping from her wounds into the snow, into the cracks of the floor, dried up forever.But you know, diary, I think lying there like that is not as pathetic or gruesome as people might think it is. Come to think of it, it is really peaceful and serene. Amidst all that whiteness, amidst all that screams of horror, and then there’s me. Me lying face up staring at everyone in the world. Me being enveloped by the snow. It’s my element, do you know that?

Tick tock. I don’t have time to waste anymore.

Goodbye diary. The world is all white and pure now. Let me leave before it turns ugly again.

–

highly fictional.

I know lamest title ever but I really don’t know how to name a post with pictures other than naming it ‘post with pictures’ wtf. I don’t wanna come up with some super emo title like “someday I’ll see the light” WTF for a post that has nothing to do with me seeing the light and is simply just, well, a post with pictures.

Why am I so ‘cheong hei’ wtf. Long breath wtf.

Anyway, last weekend we went to the Asian market to stock up on our indomies and whatnots. This is how we look like when we’re really carsick. I swear it has something to do with the air here! Why I get so carsick so fast?!

In the Asian market. Can you see kicap behind us wtf

Aud and her bowl of seafood something which is clearly twice the size of her head wtf

With Angie. Yeah it was so cold that we had to wear scarves and jackets indoor too.

I told you right I whole life got one pose only one wtf (if you look closely, I have fake lashes on but doesn’t show also, stupid lashes)

Forcing Aud to camwhore with me

back to where she belongs wtf

Now you know why this post is titled ‘post with pictures’ WTF

My $3.99 Forever 21 top =D (RM14) Actually the secret of finding good deals is…no secret wtf. I’m just lucky lah what can I say.

Pictures aside, I have something serious to discuss with everyone.

The thing is..I’m in dire need of money right, cause you know I wanna come home for summer right, so right, erm..

do you think it’s okay for me to write advertorials? I know this is my blog and I should do whatever rocks my boat but I’m not trying to be a sell-out blogger here, I just need the money and I do use those products in the advertorials myself, so do you think it’s ok?

According to Skyler who reads my blog wtf, she says she doesn’t care as long as it’s funny. Aud says it’s ok if you believe in the products you’re writing on. I do write based on what I feel about it (with lotsa limitations-no wtfs, no swear words etc =( ) , but will you consider me a ’sell-out’ blogger then? (actually i don’t even really know what sell-out means also wtf)

It has cometh it has cometh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111111

I woke up to this view of the lake =D

I usually hate walking to class in the morning but today, I skipped merrily to class while whistling to myself! (if i can whistle)

it looks just like the ice i get from the side of the refrigerator! I always like digging the ice and throwing it on myself while pretending that i’m at somewhere with snow falling on my head. now i have to pretend no more!

When I walk on it, it’ll go krak krak krak! so that’s how it sounds when you step on ice! every sentence ends with a ! cause i’m excited! i also sacrificed my 30 minutes nap between classes to blog!

look! got snow flakes on my hair! snow is my name! i like snow!

i look retarded but today no one is retarded cause it’s snowing! my first snow! i shall nap in peace now! 10 minutes to nap! i love snow! it’s my name! i love everyone!!!

=DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD

edit: it’s only an inch of snow, roommate said this is nothing it’ll get to 7 inches and i’ll feel like killing myself for saying i like snow. But i replied in a voice befit for a king,

“That’s where you’re wrong, my dear roommate, for I am thy king and 7 inches of snow will not stop me from frolicking around my kingdom”

roommate: We’ll see, Suet. We’ll see.