Dear Thelma,
February 10, 2008 2:14 am Emo T_T Suet, Sad SuetI have the biggest dilemma of all dilemmas. You see, I have a boyfriend of 3 years (and 2 months this coming Tues!) and we’re so happily in love..when we’re not arguing. Anyway the arguments are not the problem cause I like it when we argue. So the other day we ran out of things to talk about (yes finally, after so long wtf), so we discussed this topic in great depth.
“Is it really possible to stay and love one person..for the rest of your life?”
If we do end up getting married when I am say, 27, we would have been together for 10 years then. 10 years + forever = a very awfully long time, isn’t it? I know if you do love each other then a very awfully long time seems like bliss but can love really do that? Can love really make up for I dunno..boredom? It just seems kind of scary to me, to date someone for 10 years and then spend your whole life with him.
How does it feel to live all your life with one person, wishing you’d met more people instead? Will I then regret for the rest of my life? Barry said maybe we should date around first and go back to each other later but then what if one of us finds someone better and the other one doesn’t?!???
Sigh this is truly such a big dilemma, Thelma. I don’t know why so many people wrote to you telling you about how he likes this girl but he’s too shy yadda yadda when there is a much bigger dilemma than that (like mine). I wanted to write to Big Bro too but he usually only get stupid dilemmas like how this guy couldn’t stop wanking everywhere he goes (trust me when I say everywhere..when he sees a hot girl in a mall, he’ll wank in the toilet etc eww) so I think my problem is too serious for him to handle.
I know what are you going to say. You are going to tell me to stay with him forever right? Is your name really Thelma anyway?
Tell me everyone, what should I do! Actually this is such a stupid question with no answer wtf. I put this as my personal message on MSN and got a somewhat neutral response. Some people said yes they believe that it’s possible and some said no and asked me not to be stupid wtf. Oh well, we’ll see.
–
For CNY, I didn’t do much but I was happy enough cause on Day 1, we had fried rice which was really good! On Day 2 we had something like sweet and sour chicken which was sooo good too! On Day 3 we had Kung Po chicken which was good too. Those are the most chinese thing we can get here sigh.
And on Day 3 of CNY, I webcam-ed with my friends back home!
All of them =DD I was so happy!
Cibai..showed me angpows T____T Jess’ mom gave me one through the webcam hahaha but Jess is gonna keep for me till May.
We got bored after a while so we rolling our eyes wtf.
Them gambling while I watch in envy wtf. Sighhhh but it’s ok I’m happy enough to see them and have them see me too. Such is the wonder of technology =)
I miss everyone back home!!! Please wait for me to come back!
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Baz :
Date: February 10, 2008 @ 2:24 am
eh why you can change clothes wan while talking to them wtf
Liz :
Date: February 10, 2008 @ 3:59 am
hahaha can one can one! i know very hard n wishful thinking but u prove it to us that its possible ok =D =D
actually i know lots of couples who date like 10 yrs n stay together even after such a long time … but not all of them have been 100% monogamous over the period of time la wtf
Justin Koh :
Date: February 10, 2008 @ 7:43 am
First of all, Gong Xi Fa Cai.
My girlfriend and I are celebrating our 8th Valentines together next week and it’ll be our 9th anniversary this coming June. We do argue a lot but after a while it’ll be alright. I guess we are the rare breed.
P.S. In between our relationship, I went to England for 1 year, so I’ve had a long distance relationship with her for one year.
P.S.2. She is my first love. I am her first love too.
P.S.3. Throughout these years, I am 100% monogamous. I dunno bout her lah…hehe…
deity :
Date: February 10, 2008 @ 8:23 am
it’s hard. it’s tough. but there are still possiblities. i myself is very much in trouble with my bf of 4 years as we are not seeing each other at the present moment. so called takin a break but i can be sure that it’s gonna be a long permanent break for us both. we argued alot n that really worsen things n turn off the sparks.
tze :
Date: February 10, 2008 @ 8:54 am
i’m not really in a position to say anything because whatever i say would be quite negative wtf. but you know what, i do envy people like that, to be so sure of who they want. i wish i was more like that sometimes. =)
clem :
Date: February 10, 2008 @ 11:58 am
mcb i printscreened a few pics too and put it in photoshop.. then after finish webcamming with you right esther started to use it.. then like few hours later i think jess’ mum ask me to keep the laptop properly if not it falls down from the table and i shut it down without saving T___T totally forgot.
but ah well at least you got save a few pics =D and yeah im always very amazed with technology.
ron :
Date: February 10, 2008 @ 12:58 pm
hmm, well i guess time will always have the answer. haha. it’s true la, like one day when u get really really bored of him u might just leave him, not becos u dont love him anymore, but u just feel that u’re heading nowhere.
or u might stop loving him becos u found someone else that is able to take over his place, and probably give u more? i dont know la, sounds like crap hahahaha.
but i believe that everyone should make their other half to fall in love with again and again, to keep their relationship ignited. it seems like people get too used and comfortable to their partners easily, that’s why their relationship starts to get stagnant and eventually stale?
must always ‘upgrade and upgrade’ or they’ll run away man. and serves them as a warning that u’re still very desirable in other men’s eyes.
sorry ah very long comment.
hui wen :
Date: February 10, 2008 @ 1:07 pm
Oh my god, dear, I feel SO SO SO SO deeply about this subject! It has actually been troubling me for the past 2 months or so.. T_____T But now everything is back to normal la… But yea, I’ve a lot of thoughts on this. Come online and chat with me about this!!
And oh ya, anniversary on Tuesday, HAHAHA!
Cass :
Date: February 10, 2008 @ 1:35 pm
you made me think alot, too about this.
but i guess if it’s me i think i’ll never get bored of seeing my bf since i’ve been with him for almost 3 years with us having LDR most of the time. after this, it’s gona be even worse ): but i’m positive, still
plus babe you guys don’t see each other often right? webcam don’t count.
i’m sure you guys would keep making the r/s alive and last forever.
vss3t :
Date: February 10, 2008 @ 7:55 pm
hey suet, guess we’re not the only ones here with Dear Thelma questions. I had the same dilemma as well when me and my boyfriend were living apart from oceans and lands for 3 months. We nearly broke off our 5years being a couple.
both of us started to wonder whether we’re supposed to be meant for each other and madly in love, or are we just too comfortable with each other’s presence, thus still being a couple, ie just a habit of being together.
we decided to give each other some time [3 days], but only to find myself wailing and crying and sobbing to my best girlfriend — not because how silly i gave him grace periods, but only to realise how much he means to me in my life. That 3 days were horrible to both of us, but gave us a clear mind and good thoughts for our future relationship.
And I have to say, he’s the best thing ever in my life, with Marc Jacob bags following after him. =)
good luck to you and barry, and wish you guys the best!
p.s: why my comment so lo-so one!
Thelma :
Date: February 10, 2008 @ 11:05 pm
Since age and options is at your side, would you turn away from all of the possible “love of your life”? This is your true dilemma.
sweatlee :
Date: February 10, 2008 @ 11:15 pm
baz, after i bathed edi laa jior so observant wtf
liz, haha i only proved 3 years leh, still so many yeard to go! ahhah thanks now i know what to do wtf
justin, hey gong xi too =) wahh 9 years?? very long leh! i already had long distance for 2 years now, and gonna be doing that for the next 3 years too sigh. hahaha i’m sure she is too =)
deity, taking a break? why? sigh i hope things turn out better for both of u =(
tze, hahaha dunno what to say wtf i guess it’s not really about knowing who you really want..it’s a lot on circumstances also la in your case. =(
clem, hahaha aiseh nvmla u can take my pics here! damn chun right i can get angpow through webcam wtf
ron, sigh i dunwan that to happen la but we’ll see. and yeah i think the making your partner fall in love again and again is a good idea. ahhah nvm your comment very meaningful wtf now i’m thinking of ways to ignite the passion wtf
huiwen, ok let’s have the deepest chat ever about this wtf and oh ya our anniversary is the same hor! /boo
cass, haha ya we only see each other once every 3 months or so but it’s not now, i’m just worried about the future u know. sigh dunno why am i worrying abt that also havent happened yet also. i guess cause nothing to worry about edi wtf cari masalah sendiri wtf
vss3t, hmmm that;s really sweet. ya i’m quite worried about the being together just cause we don’t know how to live without the other person anymore, not cause we’re still in love but thankfully we never had that problem yet. i think giving yourself some time off is good too and in your case, it really went well la. nola where got loh soh! very meaningful ok wtf
Thelma, EH OMG YOU DO SOUND LIKE THE REAL THELMA!!! Honestly, are you really the real thelma?? Anyway after thinking about your question, I really really don’t know how to answer that. But if you always think there’s a better guy out there, then you’ll never appreciate what you have and always want to look for someone else right? What if in the end you realize that that someone else is actually the first guy you were with? And now he doesn’t want you anymore? So what will you do then?
skyler :
Date: February 11, 2008 @ 12:08 am
Cannnnnnnnnnnnnn, very hard onlyyyy.
Regarding the Thelma reply, you are both in single sex schools not so bad hahaha.
And who is that Justin person ah I hate him
ozzie :
Date: February 11, 2008 @ 12:18 am
hahaha and my answer was no. why am i like this?
of course it’s yes but i haven’t found anyone i can live with for the rest of my life yet so i say no. need to experience it first hand first.
Ee Von :
Date: February 11, 2008 @ 12:30 am
aiya i guess u have enough of answers through those comments d, most of them said what i wanted to say which is yes, but i do agree with you giving each other time to date around but i guess in the end that’ll only work for one party. (MOST probably the girl will enjoy it more than the guy -_-”)
anyway, it’s not necessary to get married also, partly is because i don’t believe in it. then you both can date each other forever which is far more romantic.
Angie :
Date: February 11, 2008 @ 12:55 am
hahhahahaha ur last picture u really look envious !!! and all ur “happy pictures” look so sad okay !!! like the first pic is so many ppl so happy .. then dadada ur pic .. alone in ur room .. hahahaha
Michelle C :
Date: February 11, 2008 @ 3:02 am
I’m not evil. =P
At least I don’t show everyone my angpaus.
Teehee
Jia Meei :
Date: February 11, 2008 @ 7:45 am
Ya was about to ask you why did your clothes change haha
Remember our plan- you’ll marry Barry and live next door to me, with Aud and Tze on either sides
Then our kids can marry each other /boo
Audrey. :
Date: February 11, 2008 @ 8:23 am
Belacan in Sarawak very nice. wtf
jessieloi :
Date: February 11, 2008 @ 9:15 am
SUET LI!! Damn fun hor webcam!! Hahaha. Ish can only see half my face, i couldnt stay still long enough haha.
Oh no clem! You didn’t save! I wanted to ask you for the pictures. sobs, nvm lah.
amy :
Date: February 11, 2008 @ 9:16 am
audrey, ya belacan in sarawak very nice. the kolo mee n laksa are heaven too wtf
about ur question, i think its possible. i mean u urself already mentioned last time that u had alot of bf’s b4 rite? so u have checked out the market already. haha~
but i guess it would be a good idea to try to see other ppl and see how that works out.that way u’ll either know why barry is soo right for u compared to the rest… or it mite be the opposite =p
geena :
Date: February 11, 2008 @ 11:56 am
i know a few couples who were really in love, and spent many years in LDR. then when they finally got back together in the same place, they quickly discovered they couldnt stand each other anymore (for any long period of time).
i guess ppl change as they grow older, and unless ur partner happens to change in the same way as u, u may well grow apart. what works when ur 18 is different from what works when ur 22. the question is whether u want to put the time in and wait till ur properly together one day to find out if u can live with each other everyday (which is very different from living with each other during fun holidays), or if u want to call it a day now and trust that you’ll each find the right one for u (even if it does turn out to be the same person a few yrs down the line).
Porcupine :
Date: February 11, 2008 @ 12:50 pm
I would say that it all depends on how the two of you look at the relationship lor…
My girl and I are into our 3rd year now and we’re both in our respective universities…
Me in Penang and her in KL…
Though we only get to see each other for around 3 and a half months in a year, it’s like we have always been together and we would just pick up where we left off during our last meeting…
So I would say that it’s all up to you Suet…
But seeing the way that you need your Baz, I would say things are looking pretty good for the future…
HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR SUET!!!
sweatlee :
Date: February 12, 2008 @ 1:37 am
will reply comments later, too much homework. thanks for the encouragement though!
Leonard :
Date: February 14, 2008 @ 1:07 pm
Hey Suet. It has been a long time since i read your blog.
Anyway, I have witnessed a 10 years relationship blossomed into marriage and (happily married with 2 kids). Takes a lot of hard work and compromise to make it happen.
Suet, dont look at the years. Our grandparents and parents (at times) didnt have the luxury to shop around for their life partners. If finances are in order and your mind is ready to settle down to live together till death you part, so be it and carpe diem.
As spending the rest of your life with the one you truly love is a feeling no words can describe it but best to revel in its full glory.