Random thoughts
April 23, 2008 12:06 am Random SuetI’m so stressed now seriously the word stress itself is not even adequate in describing the level of stress I have inside, outside, on top, underneath and all over me. My paper is soooo hard to write and I keep getting writer’s block every two words or so T__T I thought by choosing the best title ever, the isi wtf will come flowing easily but I was so wrong T__T I’m writing on the influence of religion on women’s role in premodern China (wahhh I told you right my title damn good) but that’s about the only thing I’ve written so far..
Haih. Just now we went to a dialogue between the Chinese and Tibetans students in our college. You all know what’s happening between Tibet and China right? Ok nevermind I’ll tell anyway. So basically Tibet has been under China’s control for a very long time and now Tibet wants to be free. Not just free as in gaining independence but they want to be able to have basic human rights that the chinese government hasn’t been giving them. On the other hand, the chinese government cannot give them independence because they think Tibet doesn’t have a strong enough government to govern their own people yet (after their long years of slavery problems).
Basically this is a very very complicated problem which I have one very good solution for. But being the naive and idealistic me, I didn’t wanna voice out my opinion lah later they laugh at me how. Ok so what I think is! I think the chinese government should just go “ok fine fellow monks and lamas, if you want independence so much, you can have it!” and see if they can really govern their own country. Then the world can see if Tibet is really capable of doing it and if they can’t then too bad lah they lose but i think every country should be given the right to at least attempt to govern their own people. Wait I know according to history, tibet has been given the right to do so and they kinda failed but haiya they so bising want independence mah give them lor right if they can’t do it at least everyone won’t say china is the bad guy now.
Sigh I dunno that’s why I never liked politics. Let me govern a country and I’ll go “all i want is peace..”.
Anyway let’s talk about my childhood! (damn random wtf) The other day I was talking to shanshan about our childhood cause she was telling me how she had to play alone since she’s an only child. Hahah damn sad one that’s why I never ever want only one kid. In fact I want 3 kids! But stupid barry said he only wants 2. Then I said nevermind I’ll skip my pill and get pregnant on purpose! Then he said he’ll kick me down the stairs if that happens wtf damn mean T_T
Last time when I was a kid, I used to live with my grandma in a very small town in Perak. It was really fun cause there were 4 of us including my cousin and we would play all sorts of stuff. Since we kinda lived in a village, we had chickens and all sorts of animals to play with. Sometimes we’d take out the chickens and rabbits and pretend we were gonna sell them! And when we played cooking we didn’t just use plastic cutleries and plates but we were allowed to play with real fire! We would pluck leaves and flowers and spat saliva. Sigh seriously village life was so fun.
I lived there for the first ten years of my life and never knew how to speak English. I mean, I probably learned it in school but I wasn’t that good in it since we only spoke Hokkien at home. In school, I spoke Malay with my friends (that’s why my malay super good) and sometimes Chinese I think. When I came to KL when I was 10, I hated it so much cause nobody wanted to be friends with me since I didn’t speak English =( My first few friends were Malays and up till I was 15, all my best friends were Malays. I found them much friendlier than other chinese kids who only speak English and were very snobbish to village people like me.
There was once when we just moved here, my sis was invited by this rich chinese kid to her house for a birthday party. My sis was so happy and so was my mom. My mom did her hair and I chose the nicest dress I had for my sis to wear. When we went to the girl’s house, we found out that there wasn’t anyone in there. In fact, noone lived there since there was grass growing all over and the house looked like it was abandoned for a long time. The next day in school, everyone laughed at my sis cause she actually believed that there was a birthday party…T___T I hated city kids for a very long time after that.
This post damn long but I’d do anything now but return to writing my paper haih. Anyway I still remember most of my childhood as vividly as ever. My grandma was very strict back then and she always punished us for everything. If I forgot to wear underwear to school (when I was 6 lah I didn’t like wearing undies), she’d make me kneel on the jagged parts of the bottle caps. Like you know, those bottle caps you play with. It hurt yeah but I got used to it so I’d rather kneel than wear undies wtf. That’s why my skin damn thick now haha. And she’d lock us out in the back alley or throw us out into the porch with a mattress for a couple of hours if we did something wrong. That’s why I never was afraid of the dark ever since.
Haha she was very creative with her punishments too! My sister would cry so much whenever our parents leave after visiting us (since they lived in kl that time) so my grandma would give her a bowl and said she have to cry till the bowl is filled with tears or else she can’t stop. She never cried ever since..
Sigh I miss my grandma so much. She used to be really tough and fierce but now she is such a sweet and benevolent old lady who cooks the best food ever. I was just talking to her the other day over the webcam and she told me that our dog died cause of old age T__T and that it’s about time for her too T______________T
I hate life why do people have to grow old and die T_________T I wish kids will never grow up so I can play with them forever and old people will never die T__T Huhuhuh I hate life and I hate hamsters cause they freaking eat their own babies (althought I knew this already but I just youtubed it and saw it with my own eyes). I hate hamsters..forever!!!1
Time to go back to the inevitable boo hoo.
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Shanshan :
Date: April 23, 2008 @ 12:20 am
shanshan sitting on the damn annoyin sofa again!!! hahahaha…
ur childhood life is like my dream childhood!! i so much envy kids who have lived in countryside!! so fun! my childhood was the most boring one ever!
ai i feel the same about life… i never wanted to grow up and i always hope my family won’t grow old too… sigh ><
love you!!xx
p.s. about tibet.. i cant help being critical about wut u say as u feel the same to me… so i dont think they had much human right before 1951 when it was under theocratic-dictatorship.
Baz :
Date: April 23, 2008 @ 12:24 am
aih i don’t have anything to say lah all old stories, but go do your work lah babi, i don’t want to be ignored next week because you procrastinated and have to finish everything when i arrive ok! cis *cracks knuckles
alea :
Date: April 23, 2008 @ 12:25 am
first!
wtf like perez hilton’s commentors only tee hee.
you grew up in Perak? me too! Which part? oh the good ol days SNIFF.
omg your sis’s situation abt the birthday thing is so sad!!! reminds me of chinese cinderella T_________T
carol :
Date: April 23, 2008 @ 1:21 am
suet you are ridiculously cute la hehehe.
Wah your childhood was really something.. but when u said the bottle cap thing hor!! it reminded me…
my turn to tell story hoho.
so! when i was in std6 and all silly, i thought i’d play matchmaker between this athletic samseng-ish kid who liked my friend who was your ultimate good girl T_T so I gave him her number.. then i called her… pretended to get cut off, then told him to quick call her ask her out!
she wasn’t happy and neither was her mum who CALLED MY MUM wtf and my mum was soooooo mad at me and she caned me T_____T ANNDDD this is the clincher - made me kneel on bricks for a couple of hours while repenting T________________________T
never ever will forget, lol.
and why were the city kids so mean to your sister!!!!! sigh kuching kids much nicer la =P
haha okay okay jia you for your paper! i’m also mugging for my midterms… two more weeks!
carol :
Date: April 23, 2008 @ 1:23 am
oh ya! hahaha and in std4 right, I had this Chinese language teacher who, hor, would make those of us who didn’t bring our workbook kneel UNDER THE BLACKBOARD THAT WAS SUPER DUSTY for the whole 2-3 class periods -_- so bad for health okay, breathing in chalk dust haihhh
ah, the glorious days of a chinese education. Lol.
Hayley :
Date: April 23, 2008 @ 1:29 am
yea same here..i believed most kids did la. i used to play masak-masak when i was a kid..plucked a few leaves, used the candle wax with fire then cooked. it smelt so good wtf… but i neva spat saliva la
arshana :
Date: April 23, 2008 @ 2:20 am
Wah, your grandma very innovative. The only time I remember playing masak-masak was with lalang (dunno why lalang) but it cut my hands and then I didn’t want to play anymore. Sticked with plastic cups and plates instead.
lynette tan :
Date: April 23, 2008 @ 3:49 am
O_O suettt… why ur grandma so mean wan T_T scary ok. I miss my grandfather. last time when he comes and fetches me from school, he would buy for me presents wan. now … he’s …. *runs away and cries*
btw, i never liked english educated chinese. although i am one. But im not like that ok. My best friends are mostly malays too in highschool =D
grace :
Date: April 23, 2008 @ 3:56 am
but if china really gave tibet the independence, then what will happen when other states do it also? then mongolia starts demonstration, etc etc.
im oso a kampung girl haha.anyway that b’day party was kinda mean..
Raquel Davies. :
Date: April 23, 2008 @ 4:35 am
Omg! You Don’t Half Talk About Some Shit Fair Play, Don’t Low Yourself Down With Work And Collage And All That, Get Out There & Have Some Fun Mun.. I’m 16 I Left School At The Age Of 12 And Became A Prostatute. I’m Proud Of Selling My Body, If You Want 2 Work With Me, Just Comment My Website, Thank You.
Abby :
Date: April 23, 2008 @ 4:48 am
haha suet u wanna be prostitute meh?!?!?! wtf anyway i hate hamsters too my friend had gerbils (like hamsters) and the mother ghave birth n then makan the anak. so damn grusome
Ginny :
Date: April 23, 2008 @ 5:42 am
fuyoh. your paper is really hard lo. but here you can write very long x) eh. nice punishments kneel on bottle caps =O creative =p so emo ur last paragraph hoho. happy writting!~
CraSH :
Date: April 23, 2008 @ 5:44 am
hmm.. i remember biking to some rambutan estate and stole rambutans with a bunch of friends at the age of 10… those were the days!! haha…
dont worry, tak payah takut, kita semua kat sini akan jadi kawan mu.. ok? hahaha..
Jia Meei :
Date: April 23, 2008 @ 5:58 am
HAHAH WHY IS BARRY SO uh dominant wtf throw you down the stairs
My kids marry yours I’ll have three too <3
choco :
Date: April 23, 2008 @ 7:16 am
=( I know how it feels to have someone you love pass away. My grandma left us 2 years ago. I still miss her. =’(
Be happy that you still have time left with your grandma.
Fuzzy! :
Date: April 23, 2008 @ 8:07 am
No, no, no, 2 is enough. Believe me, I grew up in a 3-children environment. 2 will gang up against one. Plus, if you have 2 girls, the boy will be a little lembut and if you have two boys, the girl will be too keras aj.
Eh hamsters eat their babies if they judge that the living condition couldn’t support the little ones or if the babies aren’t healthy and wouldn’t make it anyway or if they’re stressed. A lot of critters do that, for example: Rats, Rabbits and those Commie Chinese aj
More economical what. Why waste? Human babies die and we cry and bury/burn them. Better eat what. Summore the mother lose a lot of energy during birthgiving. Just eat the little dead buggers.
God, I’m sick, aren’t I?
Lyn :
Date: April 23, 2008 @ 8:08 am
very random, but if u turn stressed around it spells desserts
vss3t :
Date: April 23, 2008 @ 8:36 am
i agree with you, suet, about the china-tibet thing! Actually i think the western media are being ridiculous stupid by blowing up the whole issue just because (they proly envy) the Olympic thing. If terrorist are people who harm the public, then the medias are, since they are brainwashing the more stupid ppl in all these crap.
I’ve read that the medias are saying how the chinese soldiers are bullying the poor tibet monks, BUT! do they ever realised that those people in blueish/green soldier uniforms are NOT chinese? They’re soldiers from neighboring countries and not from China. Stupid media, can’t they differentiate between Chinese and non-chinese?
tzeching :
Date: April 23, 2008 @ 10:09 am
wtf hahahahhhahaha damn sohai ok prostatute wtf
sighhh suet always wants peace and joy and love in the world *pats suet on the back
I ALSO DONT WANT ANYONE TO GROW OLD AND I DONT WANT NINI TO GROW BIGGER AND FORGET ME ALSO OHGOD REMIND ME TO SEND U THE CUTEST PIC EVER
clem :
Date: April 23, 2008 @ 10:37 am
that hamster bit is news to me wtf. and i’ve never understood the whole broohaha between china and tibet…
CPKenny :
Date: April 23, 2008 @ 11:07 am
LOl to your grandmas punishments esp asking your sis to cry till the bowls filled up! xp. HOw creative is that!
ghost :
Date: April 23, 2008 @ 11:29 am
dunno why but really <3 this post
i guess most of us are going through projects and exams now .. me too T_T best of luck k hope you achieved some isi for your paper already
Angie :
Date: April 23, 2008 @ 12:49 pm
sigh. Actually i think China doesn’t want to give Tibet independence is merely because they just want more power and land like how they die die also want Taiwan and how they wanted to take over EVERYWHERE b4 .. BUT FAILED. wtf so they die die also wanted to take over Tibet since Tibet lacked military power cuz all monks ma. can only pray wtf. sigh. and honestly china’s human rights thing is not improving at all. maybe there are a few laws that might look promising .. but actually internal china is still sooo lack of any sort of human rights , maybe even worse than b4. sigh.
Anyway why ur sister’s friend sooooooooo mean to her !!! If is me I’ll find her real house n burn it down wtf !
aud :
Date: April 23, 2008 @ 12:55 pm
ya why ur childhood like that my childhood was all about putting blame on ooib wtf
Mamamia! :
Date: April 23, 2008 @ 3:15 pm
Suet, I was happily reading your post until the part where your grandma talked about your dog and how she will end up to be like the dog too and I got so sad la… Dont know why but i always get very sad when old people say they are going to die soon bla bla bla… now i feel like crying. =(
sweatlee :
Date: April 23, 2008 @ 3:37 pm
shanshan, haha u and your sofa! yeah living in village is really fun =)
baz, okkk! yes sir!
alea, haha third! teluk intan! u? yeah dman sad ok T_T
carol, wah your comment as long as my entry wtf. why so sad one why your mom caned u and made u kneel on bricks, summore 12 yrs old edi! u lah so gatal wanna play matchmaker wtf. and why your teacher so mean!
hayley, u should spit cause the saliva will psst and dry up damn nice wtf
arshana, hahaha ya why u use lalang! i use flowers damn fun
lynette, huhuuh T_T but my grandma very nice now!
grace, yeah that was one of the arguments lah but i guess it’s not wrong for every country to want independence also, if not msia also won’t get to be independent. i still feel it’s ok to try. and not all the states in china want independence anyway, a lot of them are ok with their situation although im not sure of the validity of my statement.
abby, spam T__T yeah seriously damn cruel!
ginny, haha thanks!
crash, hahaha ok settle la!
jam, yays!!
choco, sorry =( yeah i should cherish it. i dunno what am i doing here in US =(
fuzzy, i grew up in 3 children environment also what and yalah it’s true my bro didnt have ppl to play with but he’s not lembut at all! and 2 seriously damn boring la I WANT 3 minimum i dont care. and yeah i know they eat their own babies cause of that i already did my research wtf but still damn sad ok!
lyn, HAHHAHA where did u learn tht!
vss3t, your name always damn hard to spell la! i had to backspace few times. yeah seriously medias are the most dangerous thing ever. im really not on anyone’s side la but it’s fascinating to hear from both sides and decide for yourself which one is right or wrong. but then again, there’s no right or wrong also actually.
tze, hahah wtf yala i damn peaceful wtf. i cant see the pic why T_T_T_T
clem, u didnt know?! ya damn sad ok thts why never by hamsters! summore their life span is like what? 2 seconds wtf
cpkenny, yeah seriously damn good!
ghost, thanks =DDD i just kept rambling on and on incoherently only. good luck to u too! i wrote 3 pages edi =)
angie, haih very hard to talk to ppl about this la especially shan2 wtf cause from china ma. that time we were only 9! all we wanted then was to go to bday parties T_T wtf
mamamia, aww im sorry =( don’t cry! i was very sad when she said that too huhuh
Twinkle :
Date: April 23, 2008 @ 7:24 pm
In fact, noone lived there since there was grass growing all over and the house looked like it was abandoned for a long time. The next day in school, everyone laughed at my sis cause she actually believed that there was a birthday party…T___T I hated city kids for a very long time after that. <—— Jahatnya!!! My goodness…
Yeah, I am a kampung girl.. all main masak masak was fun. I had a happy childhood, mandi sungai, tangkap ikan in the parit, went to jungle kutip buah getah… heheheheh
Good luck on your paper
Jeff from LA :
Date: April 23, 2008 @ 7:49 pm
I think you touched upon a really good point. Most people like to remember their childhood as halcyon days. However, that is probably because they forget just how malicious children can be to one another and forget how they may have been bullied/teased. (Or perhaps because they were the ones doing the bullying themselves). I feel lucky that I was never really bullied overly much as a kid. I am also gratified that I did not bully others, but I am saddened that I did not do even more to help prevent others from getting bullied.
I am proud of you though. You overcame a poor childhood in Malaysia to become a student in a prestigious school here in the US. That’s a great success story.
Kpeo :
Date: April 23, 2008 @ 8:20 pm
Its a matter of policy for china, anyone using religion as a tool for gaining political ground will be dealt with to the harshest extent.
I dont agree with the way china handled the situation, im sure there are better ways.
for us, we symphatize because, poor peaceful monks, so harmless the religion of buddhism. but if china goes soft on buddhism, then other religions will get brave also.
if tibet was a muslim region, u can bet people will be crying for it to be bombed to kingdom come.
AP :
Date: April 23, 2008 @ 9:47 pm
wah seriously your paper so hard sia, chinese religion seems rather elusive…. our religion is superstition wtf. but quite likely that religion has been a source of oppression for women…. hmmm im v interested in this kinda topic, lol. plus tibet too. =___= i recommend this blog for chinese pple who wanna debate the issue www.lianyue.net
your grandma sounds like such a formidable character! O.O i know what u mean village life is the best thing ever for childhood ok that time i lived in batam i had so much fun stealing chicks and coconuts from neighbours but i put the chick back lar chirp so loudly =____=
ozzie :
Date: April 23, 2008 @ 10:47 pm
wah i can’t believe so many people read your long long post.
i want kids too but i got a big pain phobia going on in me, so i might not?
alea :
Date: April 24, 2008 @ 12:18 am
!!!!!!
same! Teluk Intan too! omfg. We’re familyyyyy!! wtf. 7 years living there and the chinese seafood there is the best!
Michael :
Date: April 24, 2008 @ 3:36 am
trust me. china ppl thinks a whole lot different from the rest of the world. The pride in them is kinda vague and confusing i think.
Ei and i like kampung ler. Got so many things do that city kids simply cant imagine of haha. I speak Malay when i’m like under 7 cos i’m babysitted by a Malay old lady. My father speaks english and no chinese (i.e. banana) but he sends me to chinese private secondary school.
So i’m like a transition of ideologies lol. Malay nationalism (dun laugh, i study in a Malay kindergarten and they teach nationalist songs and ARABIAN). And then my primary school where i learn much english from my father and the church folks. Then the *Chinese Chauvinism* (yeah they are a little bit extreme imo) when i entered my secondary school.
My background is kinda strange lol.
BUT my Malay oso terrer lo suet. Jangan tunjuk pandai sini ya. HAHAHAHA
to jeff: a “poor childhood” is an overstatement i think …i also live in a malay rural area when i’m small but i dont think that i’m that “poor”. But its a great success nonetheless.
huiting :
Date: April 24, 2008 @ 5:13 am
wtf is this like torture haven or something?? Your grandma so creative wey!! My grandma damn soft la she say I was soft tofu when I was young wtf (cause I damn weak I ate american ginseng I’m damn big and strong now wtf T_T) And my dad only know how to get his belt and whack my sisters and brother and ask them to eat back whatever they spit out lor!! But i never kena I was such an obedient kid *blush*
kiki :
Date: April 24, 2008 @ 8:51 am
suet, u seem like an amazing person. uber enjoy reading ur blog. stay pretty!
Francesca :
Date: April 24, 2008 @ 10:27 am
Very sweet story, Suet
I can relate to ur story. Specially the part bout grandma … I miss my grandma ^__^
sweatlee :
Date: April 24, 2008 @ 3:28 pm
twinkle, hahah ya mandi sungai damn fun T_T and thanks!
jeff, i wasn’t really bullied much la other than that episode i was pretty ok after that. haha thanks!
kpeo, haih politics is so complicated..
ap, yeah chinese religions are hard to writre about cause there isnt a definite thing/point. my chicks all died i had to throw them away T_T
ozzie, haha did you read it too! no pain no gain!
alea, eh really ar?!!??!!? so small world!
michael, wah your comment damn long. yeah i know my roommate is from china so we talk about this all the time. no ok my malay more terrer cause i got 6 malay bfs wtf hahaha and yeah i didnt think i was that poor also la..
huiting, hahah your sisters sure hated u one cause never kena whack before! i always kena caned one. never drink soup, cane. eat too much, cane wtf
kiki, thanks =)))
francesca, sigh i miss her too T_T and thanks!
bubbles :
Date: April 24, 2008 @ 6:31 pm
wow… the prank on your sister was really harsh.
michellesy :
Date: April 24, 2008 @ 10:17 pm
AHAHAH what is this about the pill and barry pushing you down the stairs and spitting wtf wtf - damn funny lah you babe!
and so mean lah the girls who did that to your sister!!!! what if that incident emotionally scarred her for life wtf! but don’t hate city kids lah ok? i am city kid also what wtf.
and your grandma damn creative ok, much better than just plain caning wtf. but i a bit sked leh wtf.
and so sad ok, your grandma saying she wants to die T_____________T
i mean i think they say it cos they are so sick and tired of living, seriously. right before i lost grandads he said that too and I STARTED BAWLING IMMEDIATELY. LOUDLY WTF.
at which point in time he promptly resorted to emotional blackmail and said that i should stop because it upsets him and i tried to halt my tears mid-gush wtf. like turning off a tap only wtf. damn effective ok this emotional blackmail business wtf.
sigh. but he’s gone now. and i didn’t get to say goodbye. i cried for a good week after i found out (they didn’t tell me because it was mid exam season) and then i got tearful everytime i saw elderly chinese men on the streets ok T___T i had to stop serving a customer in my part time job cos he reminded me too much of yeh yeh =(
why is life so sad (and hard wtf, esp when it comes to china-tibet relations wtf. yes it’s damn effing complicated, but i can’t say i like china’s track record when it comes to human rights. i mean this in the most respectful way possible, and no offense to any of your readers and shan shan? who are from china)
AP :
Date: April 24, 2008 @ 11:51 pm
i think china’s track record comes from this obsession with centralised power, but seriously when u think abt it the pple who scream abt human rights all day (the US) have a pretty bad record whatwith eliminating the indigenous pple and taking their land and the slavery and the eugenics movement etc but in the US there are groups who will try to represent minority interests but china clamps down on dissenters way too much. i feel a little indignant about how badly china is getting criticised by the western powers who have committed all these crimes and in doing so, alienate the chinese people and really not helping them improve….. sorry la suet leave such a long comment abt politics which u dun like >_<
i think your sis’s story rather heart-wrenching sia, kids are very sensitive to this kinda thing i_i chicks are so fragile, so learn lesson le never kidnap wandering chicks or buy them from vendors, cannot survive to be companions T-T
iyo :
Date: May 6, 2008 @ 10:43 am
malaysians sometimes are bloody hypocrite. they talk about of freedom of expression and they hate the oppression by the malaysian government but at the same time some of them support the People Republic of China, which oppresses the people, paticularly tibet. these idiot hypocrites make me sick