Sweat Betul

Things are getting harder and harder each day for us and I don’t know what we or I did to bring us to this stage. I thought love always prevails but that’s not so true after all, is it?

3 years 8 months and still counting. But does that really matter anymore? Should how long we’ve been together be a measurement of how good things are going?

This sucks. I find myself trying less and less to keep this relationship alive. I don’t feel motivated at all when the future seems so uncertain. Distance and more distance, complacency, knowing too much about each other, feeling as if you can’t live one day without seeing the other and just so many gray spots.

I don’t like to live my life not knowing what’s going to happen next. I’ve always been the type of person who likes everything planned or mapped out in my head. I seek solace in knowing that my future is certain, or at least know which direction I’m going. But now, I can’t plan my relationship and it kills me.

He’s going back to college next Tuesday, and me a week after that.

not looking forward to it at all. distance. and more distance. uncertainties. and more uncertainties.