Sweat Betul

Someone please do the honor of killing me now please T_______T cause I’m having the worst period cramp in the whole wide world and I really feel like my life is flashing right before my eyes now. I hate this time of the month cause I always get VERY SUPER DUPER bad cramps, those type that make you stop doing whatever you’ve been doing and feel like you just want to curl up in a corner and die that kind.

Haih I know, take the primrose oil or something but it didn’t work for me! The only thing that worked were the birth control pills but my mom didn’t let me take those anymore so now I’m back to suffering like crazy every month. I used to cry in school because of my cramps (yes they were and still are really that bad!) and not go to school at all. I had a very bad one few months ago and had to curl on my bed and cry softly and shanshan thought I was gonna die wtf

Seriously I hate being a girl lah! (I say the same things every month to anyone who would listen, albeit involuntarily) And the worst part is my cramps are usually 3 days long BEFORE my period, 4 days long DURING my period and nothing after my period la if after period still got that means I get cramps half the month wtf damn sad case that one.

So back to my long tirade on how I hate being a girl. Damn suck right guys will never ever understand our pain ok T__T Whenever I complain to my boyfriend and if I want to make him understand how painful it truly is, I’ll threaten to kick his balls wtf but I swear it hurts more than being kicked in your balls ok! I’ve described this very vividly in my blog before but it was a long time ago so let me paint the picture for you again.

It feels as if like your whole goddamn uterus is gonna fall out piece by piece and you’ll feel this suction or pulling sensation which is not pleasing at all T___T Not only that, you feel as if your uterus is being ripped out AND someone is kicking you from the outside right where your womb is seriously it’s 23952 times more painful than what I just described! If you don’t believe please go take something hard and knock it on your balls and multiply that pain by 10603 and divide by 3 no lah kidding wtf

Everytime when it hurts so bad until I can’t stand it anymore, I’ll go take the pink panadol that is meant for menstrual pain and now it doesn’t work anymore cause my body is used to it. Usually this cramp will hit me in waves one so now I feel it then 10 minutes later I’ll be fine and I won’t know when it’ll be back again (play peekaboo with me T__T) so if I feel it now and take the panadol, it’ll only be effective 10 minutes later which is when the pain will have been subsided anyway! Aiyah anyway it’s a very complicated issue la

And my PMS is the worst thing ever you do not EVER want to make me angry when I’m pms-ing. It’s not that I want to simply use pms as an excuse to my bad behavior wtf but it’s something I (and a lot other women) cannot control ok! It’s like asking guys to not touch a naked girl wtf (good examples wei *pats self) so whenever you get annoyed at your girlfriend who screams at you for no reason please remember this example, that you wouldn’t be able to prevent yourself from touching a hot naked girl anyway.

it’s the same with us ok T_____T except that ours sometimes comes with the unwanted feeling of being punched in the stomach HAIH DAMN SAD TO BE A GIRL LA if you are a guy now please pray that you won’t be reincarnated as a girl la become a hamster in your next life also better can eat your own kid and lifespan only 2 years so you get another shot at being reincarnated as a rich guy! Hamsters damn nice lah everyday just eat kuaci and run on the wheel and be admired by people in pet shop and fornicate with random hamsters wtf and eat your kids and repeat cycle

ok goodnight pain is gone, for now T_T

p.s: eh on second thought i don’t want to be a guy cause they can’t control their hard-ons! i guess i rather get very bad cramps every month than be caught dead with an erection by my crush or GASP MY PARENTS WTF WTF

amidst all that flurry of packing our bedsheets and kettle and books and clothes and winter coats and all that taping up of boxes, writing our names and class, wrapping nice stuff in newspaper so no one will steal them, deciding which tops i should bring back, weighing my luggage, panicking about how everything is too heavy and that we wouldn’t have enough strength to lug them all up to the storage room 34810 miles away…..

heck my first year is over already.

it’s sinking into every part of me clearer than ever now. my first year in college is already over in a blink of an eye and as much as i wanted to just leave this place and just go back home, going back is the last thing i want now. having audrey, angela, shan shan and mild to get me through my first year made me wish to always have them all by my side until i graduate. but the party will be gone soon and there’ll only be the two of us next year.

i feel like i did so much the past year and learned so much, more than i could ever imagine and if i have a chance to do it all over again, i would. i just want to do all this all over again, and again, and never have to move on. i hated this place so much when i first came but i think i’ve grown to really love it. i just really don’t know how to love it as much when most of the people i love here won’t be here anymore. sigh.

this past week really summarized my entire first year. fun. crazy. hectic. fast. emo. happy. sad. too much worrying about nothing. loved. well-fed.
i don’t think i’m too excited about going home yet but i’ll try to be. i know i will be. plane food, in-flight movies, malaysian food, family, friends, jiameei, home, here i come.

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p.s: i’m so proud of myself! since everyone is busy packing and throwing things out, i found my new favorite hang out place..the trash room wtf. i like to just go down there to see what’s free and yesterday, i collected a grand total of 5 things. free boxes to store my stuff (yay don’t have to buy!), huge sketch book to play pictionary/win lose or draw with (which i think is pretty useless now so i will have to just throw it away =( ), magazines whee!, a dust collector thingy and free bottles of water! yays! anything free is good ok bye

SERIOUSLY I’M SO ANGRY NOW!!! WHY DO I HAVE SO MUCH WORK TO DO HAH HAH WHY PLEASE TELL ME WHY! WHY DO I HAVE 4 FINALS AND 3 PAPERS!!!!

so angry!!! why do those professors think we have no other classes except theirs! why must they give us so much pressure! seriously why am i doing this! why am i studying econ and history of chinese civilization and game theory and french! why am i paying so much and travel so far to cause undue stress upon myself! why didn’t i just stay in malaysia!

why am i here why T___T i’m so stupid seriously today i was walking with these two other girls from my econ class and i was telling them i’m kinda scared for the econ final and they said don’t worry the midterms weren’t that hard anyway………..what do you mean! i got C for my midterm what do you mean it wasn’t hard T__________T

i swear i’m the stupidest girl on campus why i everything also cannot do ask me to differentiate native rulers and foreign rulers in ancient china also i cannot do! ask me to interpret confucius’ the great learning also i cannot do! ask me about my prediction of agg. expenditure due to the US recession also i cannot do T____T i can’t even decide properly when to use passe compose or imparfait T____T

why am i torturing myself why do i have to learn all this crap can i just go to some cooking/cleaning school where they teach women how to cook and clean and stay sexy until they die please!

Haih let me be the first to open such a school la. everyday learn how to sew/cook/clean/do makeup/stay slim only so fun. haihhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh mary lyon (my college’s founder) is gonna rise from her grave and haunt me for life wtf cause so un-feminist.

complain so much also no use still have to get back to reality….like now……………………………….very sad angry frustrated annoyed huuhuh maybe cause period coming also. why does it suck so much to be a girl huhuuh everytime have to waste money on pads/tampons/bras and if boobs not big enough then feel insecure if tummy not flat enough then get called a wild boar HAIH

anyway this is a video of what we do when we’re bored/how i release my anger/why we are the fun-est couple ever

I KNOW I LOOK DAMN UGLY BUT I’M SUFFERING FROM ALL KINDS OF SADNESS/TRAUMA AND I’M FKING PMSING NOW SO IF YOU SAY I LOOK UGLY I’M GONNA MAKE SURE I SEND 119048194 VIRUSES TO YOU

no i’m serious wtf

p.s: eh i suddenly have a great idea! should i just quit college now and become a full time blogger wtf i shall take one year to study the skills of how to be world no. 1 blogger and earn my living like that! great idea suet! *pats self and throws books away

p.p.s: most beautiful french song =)

Today I achieved Nirvana.

If I complain that I have a lot of work (which I will never do again), she sits there and makes sure I do all my work. If I start chatting or reading blogs, she’ll clear her throat loudly and ask me to do work. Is this a healthy relationship? I’m starting to have doubts wtf.